i was disappointed today when they told me i couldn't give blood. it happens every single time i try, but for some reason, i keep trying and trying to give. i fill out my name, go through the line, check my temperature (98.1) and then prick my finger (it hurts a lot) to test my blood for iron and sugar levels. so today, i walked in after lunch, feeling confident that i was going to be able to give this time. i mean, i'd eaten a healthy, protein filled lunch, and i'd had iron in my diet for breakfast. and still, i was too iron deficient to be able to give blood. i walked away with my head down. because, i'm wired with compassion and a heart to love people and they tell me that if i give my blood, i'll save six infant lives or three adult lives. they tell me that the hurricane victims are desperate for blood donors. they tell me that kids in the children's hospital not too far from here are in need of my blood. and so i try to give it and they deny me. i walk away feeling guiltier than i was intended to feel, and frustrated that my stupid cardiovascular system can't seem to get things right.
why am i talking about this.
because i'm tired of feeling guilty just so you can guilt other people into giving their blood and then complaining cause it hurt. i want to so much and i can't. i'd take the pain for them if i could. i'm tired of being disappointed because everyone else can take the opportunity to help for granted, and i can't help even though i'm dying to. i don't understand why i was made to be deficient and given a heart of glass for the broken and hurting.
giving blood means more to me than just getting my mark of kindness for the day or getting some stupid free room inspection. i want to contribute, to do something meaningful for the world around me. and i can't.
About Me
- jessica freeman
- sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast. ♥
2 comments:
You're awesome Jessica! I'm sorry I haven't been able to keep up with all your posts. Hope you have a great week even though you didn't get to give blood...Maybe there's some other way you can give.
SRH
do you take a daily vitamin? prenatals have lots of iron & they're pretty much amazing in general. i've taken them since i graduated highschool. also, before i was breastfeeding and eating a freakton of food, i took a prenatal and iron supplement every day. you can get iron at wally world. but i've still never succeeded in giving blood. once my iron was finally high enough once, and i clotted before the bag was even 1/4 full. so the only way i'll ever be able to give is if i do it through a hospital versus blood drive. sucks, eh.
p.s. i miss you &/or i wrote a poem! woo.
love.
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