new

i'm changing, flexing, growing, learning how to be the most comfortable version of myself.

I AM NEW.

i smile a lot more than i used to. i'm happier, and more open about what's going on inside. i don't even wear my clothes the same way as i used to. my desires are being remodeled and i'm learning more and more about the word of God and it makes me hunger more and more to learn more and more. i love my friendships and my living space and my classes and everything else that makes my life my life. i see all these changes taking place inside of me and i love it. i'm happy and content with who i am. i'm even more content in who i'm not yet, because i see that i'm going to keep changing and growing. i haven't reached the end of my changing, because if i had, then i would be dissatisfied with my self for the rest of my life. i'm still jessica ann-lynn freeman. but something about me is simplifying. all those cliches that i used to write inside my poems and my proses and my pieces have seemingly disappeared from my brain. i like the straightforward kind of writing, the honesty in it, not the eloquent words that hide the pain and the brokenness.

these things are the composition of me. i'm a (now) 19-year-old girl who likes skinny jeans and skinny lattes, who doesn't really like chick flicks very often and who likes to go for walks (and it has nothing to do with the eco-friendliness of walking, either). i'm a half black girl who cooks and cleans and somewhat enjoys it. i like to write, but i hardly ever find the words i wanna say. i'm a mess on the inside, but it seems to all fit together like a spiderweb, so i'm not complaining. Jesus will fix it when He wants to, and i'm not gonna worry about it. i'm full of questions and i'm quite an intelligent girl. doesn't sound like the jessica you once knew? yeah, doesn't sound too familiar to me either. but that's probably a good thing. i like being new.